Breaking News: Local Alumnus Turns Epic Life Journey into, Wait for It… a Novel!
In a plot twist that no one saw coming, a proud graduate of Puri’s slightly overachieving Modern School, Barakhamba Road, has taken time off from his thrilling career at Fortune 500 companies to do something positively revolutionary—he’s writing a novel. Yes, while the rest of us stare blankly at our screens and refresh social media for the millionth time, he’s bravely putting pen to paper in a scandalous act of creativity.
Meet our protagonist (we assume he’ll want to be called that), who racked up a Bachelor’s degree in Economics from the University of Rochester, where we can only imagine he spent countless hours trying to calculate the exact number of tacos he could consume in one sitting. But the plot thickens as he steps into the world of corporate superheroes, donning every title from ‘Sales and Marketing Wizard’ at Coca-Cola (where he undoubtedly dispensed fizzy wisdom) to ‘Consulting Ninja’ at Ernst & Young. We can practically hear the sound of his invisible cape fluttering in the wind.
And as if that wasn’t enough to make you squint in astonishment, he pushed his marketing prowess to the limits at Zee Telefilms, probably strategizing how to convince us that reality TV is, in fact, a great choice for intellectual stimulation. Bravo!
But alas, after years of working tirelessly to sell you soda and streaming subscriptions, he had a moment of clarity (or perhaps a caffeine-induced epiphany). In a gut-wrenching decision that left no one crying but possibly his last few corporate bosses, he decided to take the creative plunge and do something different—write a book. That’s right folks, it’s not just a hobby anymore; he’s going full Shakespeare on us!
“I began this noble quest during my college days in the U.S. when I was busy setting up a blog and spilling my thoughts out into the vast internet void,” he declared, as if the world was waiting with bated breath for his musings on world economics and, we can only assume, the best ways to microwave instant ramen.
According to sources (mostly just his diary), he slowly developed a love for reading novels, and voila! He was practically destined to craft his own literary masterpiece, as if the universe whispered, “You shall be the next great author, or at least a blog with a cool cover!”
So grab your popcorn, folks, because this is the beginning of an uncharted territory where modern-day titans of capitalism moonlight as aspiring novelists. Will our hero’s journey lead to a bestseller, or will it be filed alongside those abandoned screenplays your friend keeps bringing up at parties? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure—this will be one literary ride worth the price of admission, or maybe just a cup of lukewarm coffee!
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , www.newindianexpress.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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