Breaking News: Arcade Owners Attempt to Outwit Pot Shop—Spoiler Alert: They Fail Spectacularly!
In the epic saga of Spokane, where dreams are high and so are the stakes, a Spokane County judge took on the heroic role of “The Ref” this month in a showdown of monumental proportions: an arcade versus a pot shop. Yes, folks, you heard it right! In one corner, we have the "Old Fashioned Fun Arcade"—a glorified collection of flashing lights and pixelated nostalgia, and in the other, the illustrious "Smokane" cannabis emporium, with a marketing strategy that’s definitely hitting higher than their customers!
Judge Julie McKay, the superhero we didn’t know we needed, put on the biggest adult-sizing referee sweater and blew the whistle on the accursed attempt by arcade owners to close down the local weed spot for existing closer than your mom’s overbearing tendencies. According to the arcade’s attorney, Marco Barbanti (who, judging by his strategy, apparently graduated from the "How to Be a Fumbling Crime Lord" academy), they were not ready to throw in the towel just yet. Oh no, they dreamt of an empire… of nobody wanting to play skee-ball!
McKay’s ruling was a stern reminder that the arcade’s legal paperwork was about as shaky as a toddler on a sugar rush. Apparently, Barbanti’s brilliant legal strategy was to make an appeal without filing an appeal—genius! Clearly the “Old Fashioned Fun Arcade” was open due to deep love for family game night and not a desire to thwart the competition with arts and crafts "buffer zones" that magically appeared. Meanwhile, Smokane plans on taking this rivalry to the next level with some legal jiu-jitsu. They may have “the herb,” but it looks like they’re also brewing some delightful drama!
Cue the dramatic music! Barbanti insists that their arcade is totally a legitimate business. I mean, how could anyone question the authenticity of an arcade that charges zero dollars to play? Clearly, they’re not just a front for something sinister like… competition! But in all seriousness, are we to believe that the arcade is merely a cover for sabotaging a weed store? That’s like assuming a pizza shop with a hidden laser tag arena is in it for “just the food!”
The city eagerly shrunk the marijuana store’s legal distance of 1,000 feet to 500 feet because, let’s face it, those council members definitely had their own “high” hopes for the local economy and the love for their furry brown friends. And can someone, anyone, please explain why a video arcade needs to be a “buffer zone”? Are they trying to keep kids from getting smart for life?
And so, the saga continues. Will Smokane triumph over the little arcade that tried to take down the weed empire? Will Barbanti discover the legal secrets he’s been hiding in a box entitled “Totally Not a Front”? Stay tuned as Spokane becomes the most bizarre reality TV saga of the year, featuring all the suspense without the budget of a good production team!
In the meantime, we suggest everyone grab their favorite flavored vape and hit the arcade, because nothing says ‘intergenerational fun’ like dodging weed smells as you aim for that elusive high score! 🌿🎮
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , www.spokesman.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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