Breaking News: EU Commission Accidentally Enters the World of Political Comedy!
In a plot twist that even the best TV writers couldn’t concoct, the European Commission has decided to shake things up by selecting an American for a high-ranking economist position. Because, why not? Who needs qualified Europeans when you can stir up a classic French drama instead?
Enter Emmanuel Macron, President of France and professional eye-roller, who launched a tirade against the Commission, proclaiming that allowing a non-European in such an esteemed position is “extremely worrying.” Can you imagine the utter shock? It’s like letting a vegan judge a barbecue competition!
As the scandal unfolded faster than a political cartoonist can draw Macron’s frown, prominent economist Scott Morton (yes, that’s right, Scott “I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-European” Morton) decided to withdraw his candidacy. What a plot twist! It’s almost as if Donald Trump decided to run for ‘World’s Most Diplomatic Person.’ Morton cited “the political controversy” surrounding this non-European selection—not because he suddenly had a flash of patriotic fervor, but rather because he realized that stepping into this WHOA (World of Hilarious Awkwardness) was like jumping into a fountain of bad decisions with no life jacket!
Now, the Commission has to buckle up and head back to the drawing board, where they’ll undoubtedly blame “technical difficulties”—like that time you tried to connect to Wi-Fi in the middle of a forest. Meanwhile, they were supposed to hire a chief economist before September, just as they’re getting ready to play Big Tech bouncer at the door of regulatory compliance. “Excuse me, will you be checking your ego at the door?"
In a shocking revelation, the Commission disclosed that they’ve only gotten 11 candidates for the position, with Morton being the crème de la crème of that mediocre crop. It’s the equivalent of a culinary competition where the only contestant is a microwave pizza. A Commission official had the audacity to state, “We obviously made a political mistake.” Really? You don’t say! It’s like saying the Titanic had a small navigation issue!
“We thought we were the best competition authority in the world,” the official lamented, blissfully unaware that they were sounding a bit like a kid who lost a race after tripping over their own shoelaces. They confidently opened the floodgates, thinking the world’s top-notch economists would be climbing over each other to take the job, but instead, it’s like they hosted a party only for no-shows.
Perhaps, in an effort to be inclusive, they mistakenly thought economists would race to the offer like kids darting for the ice cream truck. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.
So here we are, folks! The saga continues. Brace yourselves for: The Return of the Economist: Back to Subpar Selection! Will they find a qualified European with sufficient French-flavored charms, or will the position remain perpetually outdated, much like an old flip phone? Stay tuned, as we await another round of continental comedy gold!
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , www.politico.eu (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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