Breaking News: “Just Add Weed” Websites Get Creative—Or Desperately Lazy?
In a world gasping for fresh ideas, companies across the U.S. are scrambling like penguins on ice to cash in on the booming green revolution. Yes folks, you heard it right—marijuana is the new black! Forget about your grandma’s knitting club; it’s time for hipster tours of dubious legalities wherever “Mary Jane” is welcome! You can now embark on luxurious marijuana-infused hotel stays, attend pot-fueled events, or use beautifying weed products. Because who needs to visit a spa when you can apply CBD-infused avocado face masks while bingeing on snacks that may or may not have your favorite little friend mixed in?
And now, drumroll please… welcome to the puff-puff-pass pinnacle of television: Netflix’s newest culinary catastrophe, Cooking on High! That’s right, folks; the streaming service has hit a new low—like a limbo contest gone terribly wrong—by adding a sprinkle of THC to the age-old antics of cooking competitions. Because when you think of gourmet dishes, you obviously think of adding marijuana to them, right? This is the culinary equivalent of smashing many flavors together and hoping for the best—kind of like a toddler in a crayon store.
The show features "expert" chefs (read: people who’ve burned more butter than they’ve fried an egg) who whip up weed-infused dishes with the enthusiasm of a dog on a walk. They slap together meals like they’re hoping to impress the judges, who are probably only drooling from late-night munchies rather than any genuine culinary delight. Speaking of judges—imagine a group of casual stoners who’ve managed to find one collective brain cell between them. They munch on the creations while promptly forgetting they have a job to do. Each and every “THC Timeout” they take to marvel at just how magnificently high they are is like witnessing a team of astronauts marveling at pizza in space—totally irrelevant, yet somehow hilarious.
One standout – and we use that term loosely – is Chef Andrea Drummer, who proudly presented her special French onion soup that could thrill even the most stone-cold foodie. However, the reality is, unless you’re a fan of watching full-on culinary catastrophes through hazy eyes, just about any old recipe can be turned into “pot-iffic perfection.” Who knew a sprinkle of cannabis could turn an otherwise mediocre dish into something that, for the stoned, would be as memorable as trying to recall what day it is?
Despite its star-studded lineup of “chefs” and “experts,” Cooking on High operates on a truly ingenious formula: put stoners together, add some food, and watch the magic (or, in this case, mediocrity) happen. It’s the absolute Netflix equivalent of the last slice of pizza that somehow ends up stuck behind the couch—hardly thrilling, yet you’ll probably eat it if you’re desperate enough.
With short episodes that feel like they were tailored for someone with a Goldfish memory, it’s hard not to commend them for trying. But despite the colorful humor and adorable hosts, much like last year’s fashion trends, this cooking show is another impulse buy that just doesn’t stick.
So, as we hover on the edge of this whimsical new age of legal weed, it’s only a matter of time before someone figures out the magical formula to create the perfect stoner cooking show. Until then, just sit back, light up, and pretend that Cooking on High isn’t just a long-winded excuse for America to laugh at its own culinary incompetence. Cheers to the pursuit of laughter in a society that clearly needs a lot more of it!
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , theoutline.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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