Breaking News: The Culinary Cannabis Catastrophe!
In a galaxy not so far away—specifically, on the couch of your local Netflix binge-watcher—an epic kitchen showdown has launched. Cooked with Cannabis, the latest culinary catastrophe hosted by the legendary Kelis (who we all still think is a milkshake enthusiast trapped in a chef’s body) and chef Leather Storrs (probably named after a couch that lost its way), just premiered six brand-new episodes on the most high-ly anticipated day ever — April 20. Yes, that’s right, folks! It’s 4/20, the holiday where millions attempt to be productive while absolutely nailing their couch-sitting game.
In this epic saga, three brave (or bamboozled) chefs are tasked with creating a three-course THC and CBD infused meal that’s supposed to impress a panel of celebrity judges who look like they’ve wandered in off a cloud of smoke (because they literally have). Themes range from nostalgic backyard BBQs (remember when there were no restrictions on hot dogs? Good times!) to weddings (I wonder if these nutty dishes will make Aunt Mildred rethink her chicken salad!).
Here’s the kicker: the chef with the most impressive edible extravaganza wins a whopping $10,000! Just enough to fund their new life as a professional influencer posting "What I smoked today" TikToks!
The show’s flashy presentation has all the charm of a well-edited infomercial for a yoga studio—complete with soft lighting and background music that screams, “Please help me find my way out of this existential crisis!” The contestants seem more relaxed than someone on a permanent vacation in a hammock, while the judges appear to be in a game of “Who Can Stare Blankly the Longest?"
Between casual discussions of strains (isn’t it all just "whatever the dude at the dispensary told me to try?") and scientific breakdowns of how THC gives a distinct pizzazz to mac and cheese, the show occasionally touches on what could be considered "edutainment." But let’s be honest, if we wanted a lesson in chemistry, we’d just ask Siri while simultaneously forgetting what we were talking about.
But here’s where it gets really juicy: the tension! Picture it—fellow contestants exchanging nervous glances as if they might have accidentally over-seasoned their kale with a bit too much infusion. If there’s one thing chefs need to combat the culinary apocalypse, it’s NOT uncertainty over how much kush to put in their ragout!
Despite the obvious comedy gold of a stoned chef trying to decipher the meaning of “infusion” while everyone else is deciding the meaning of “can I eat that?” Cooked with Cannabis barely skates by the line of exciting into zoned out. It’s like it wants to be a thrilling riding-into-the-sunset adventure but ends up more like a leisurely stroll through a field of wildflowers… that happen to be sprinkled with light dustings of anxiety.
The critics may say the show dances on the fine line between educational and educa-zoning, but hey, at least it’s slightly better than watching paint dry—or whatever it is that designates a "good" cooking show these days. Will we ever hit the sweet spot? Doubtful! But hey, there’s always next year, and the year after that, because apparently, Cooked with Cannabis will keep rolling out for as long as there’s an audience willing to clap along to the slow rhythm of culinary confusion and existential musings.
So, if your idea of paradise involves edibles and not paying attention to the show’s plot, mark your calendars! Because whether you’re laughing, groaning, or just really, really hungry, it’s all streaming now on Netflix! Don’t miss out on what promises to be the ultimate snack-and-laugh experience of the year! 🍕💚💨
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , mashable.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
0 Comments