Stoner’s Guide to the Wild, Wacky World of Cannabis Holidays: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Smoke?
April 20th: the one day of the year where you can light up without the sky falling on your head—or at least without the cops knocking on your door. This magical cannabis holiday has become the unofficial app to your calendar—the “add to your cart” add-on of our smoking culture. And let’s be honest, it’s basically the Olympics of bong-sucking, and we’re all cheering from the sidelines with our bags of chips.
But wait! Did you think 420 was the only day where people could indulge in a little herbivorous jubilation? Buckle up, my lovely ganja enthusiasts, because I’m about to drop some knowledge bombs that will knock your socks off, assuming you have some handy after smoking a J. Here’s a bumper crop of unofficial cannabis holidays that should totally be on your radar (or at least on your Snapchat story):
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June 18th: Jack Herer’s Birthday
Forget about wanting to change the world; this guy literally changed the way we think about sticky green stuff, and now we celebrate his birthday like we’re tossing a massive weed-themed rager! Jack Herer: the legend who took “let’s get high” to a whole new level. Just picture a guy surrounded by plants named after him and shouting, “Don’t let others squash my dreams—plant them instead!” -
July 10th: Dab Day
Ah, July 10th. Or as I like to call it, “the day we flip numbers upside down and pretend math is fun!” (It’s a scientific fact that 710 spells OIL when flipped over—mind blown). Every July, stoners everywhere frantically dab and shout, “We’re not just high, we’re concentrated!” No one knows who started this tradition, but I’m guessing they couldn’t get 4/20 off work. -
August 8th: National CBD Day
The day when we pretend it’s cool to be mellow. CBD is the cousin everyone loves at the family reunion because they offer great advice but also don’t turn the dance floor into a mosh pit. Just be careful where you celebrate—if you find yourself in Nebraska, South Dakota, or Idaho, might as well take a long detour because even CBD can be a passport to the land of the free…and not-so-friendly. - November: Green Wednesday
Thanksgiving’s little-known secret is that it’s the hottest day to stock up on weed before the family drama unfolds. Forget Black Friday! Retailers have turned the day before Thanksgiving into “Gobble Gobble, Get High High”—the second biggest sales day after April 20. Because nothing says “I love you, Aunt Gertrude” like a preemptive puff.
Now, to mark these glorious occasions, some incredible minds have dropped quotes that put the high in highbrow. You’ve got Bob Marley spitting wisdom about herb being the “healing of a nation” while sipping a coconut drink somewhere sunny (hold the judgment, please), and Barack Obama recalling his own ‘chill’ moments, which is probably the best pun intended in presidential history.
And let’s not skip over the cannabis ad phrases that will surely leave your brain buzzing. "Sparking innovation" may sound confusing until we realize the only innovation we’re concerned about is making sure we don’t run out. And “Weed my lips” — because apparently, your mouth is now a dispensary.
To wrap things up, let’s take a minute to appreciate the world we live in—where certain states have managed to hold onto bizarre cannabis laws like a drunk uncle clinging to a party hat at 3 AM. For example, in Oklahoma, owning a fancy grinder might land you in prison faster than you can say “I thought it was legal!”
So, rejoice, fellow plant lovers! This is your guide to enjoying the wild jamboree of cannabis culture while avoiding the “bleak” laws of those fun-squashing states. Keep this handy, and remember—when in doubt, just be like a cannabis plant: stay green, stay grounded, and please, do light up responsibly! 🌿✨
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , sacramento.newsreview.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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