Stoned News Tonight: Living Wills – The New Emoji for “I’m Outta Here” 💀✌️
[Camera zooms in, a wobbly hand reaches for the mic]
"Good evening, fellow earthlings! Welcome to Stoned News, where we serve the juiciest news with a side of giggles and a sprinkle of sarcasm. Tonight, we’re traveling to the vibrant land of India, where doctors are making the ultimate comeback—no, not in sports—but in the world of giving folks the right to choose how they kick the bucket. Yup, I’m talking about living wills, the grown-up version of ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs for hospitals! 🏥🚫💤
So, grab your bongs and your popcorn, because this story features Dr. IP Yadev, a man who definitely wasn’t ready for the “choose your own adventure” book of life that leads to death! In a classic scenario ripped from a dramatic Bollywood flick, Dr. Yadev had to face the hair-raising dilemma of whether to keep his terminally ill dad kicking in a hospital bed or to actually listen to the guy’s wishes. Spoiler alert: the ribs ended up taking one for the team during a valiant CPR attempt, but we get it, who wants a party-pooper in their last minutes, right?
Dr. Yadev, like every relatable character in a sitcom, had an epiphany: why not let people create a living will? Imagine it as an Instagram bio, but instead of “loves pizza,” it straightforwardly says “please pull the plug if I’m a human vegetable.” 🌽🥴 So, in 2018, the Indian Supreme Court declared that, yes, folks can voluntarily check out, as long as they’re all paperwork-ready like they’re applying for a loan – only much less stressful.
However, in true “let’s make this complicated” fashion, it turns out that the concept of living wills is about as popular as a vegan at a steakhouse. Apparently, talking about death in India is like discussing your bathroom habits at a family reunion: awkward and absolutely off-limits! 😂
But wait! Dr. Yadev, our hero who does not wear a cape but maybe should, along with his crew of peace-bringers, launched the FIRST EVER living will program in Kerala! Like superheroes, they’re swooping in with templates and phone consultations, all while trying to convince people that embracing mortality is more liberating than going skydiving while wearing a tutu! 🎈
In a land where people get twitchy at the mere mention of the D-word, Dr. Yadev’s initiative is like giving a cat a bath. It’s happening, but cautiously! People in their 50s and 60s are raising eyebrows like they’ve just seen a ghost—like, “Wait, I can decide how I die? Isn’t that against the rules of the universe?”
And let’s not forget our other champion, Dr. Nikhil Datar. After struggling to submit his living will, like a teenager trying to crash a party, he decided to rally the troops and get officials appointed to deal with these living wills—because hey, someone’s got to make sure that people’s last wishes are considered before they slowly fade into the night like your last bowl of snacks at a party! 🎉✌️
But here’s the kicker, folks: while some have bravely put their wills on the line, there’s still a whole stats board next to the “have you created your living will” question, showing just how hesitant people are. Talk about a buzzkill! Yet, in the land of spicy curries and vibrant festivals, conversations about how to die gracefully are sizzling slowly but surely, like a good Biryani.
So, in summation, dear viewers, if you find yourself contemplating life, death, or that delicious half-eaten pizza in the fridge, think about drafting a living will. Just remember: if you prepare for your exit strategy, you can probably negotiate the terms better than some of those Netflix endings. Now, go have that awkward conversation with your fam about the big D, and let’s normalize living wills – because nobody wants to become a hospital decoration!
That’s it for tonight folks, keep it chill and may your wills be living… or not, depending on your preferences! Goodnight!" 💤🔚
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