The Great Solo Blunt Crisis: Stoner Podcasts to the Rescue!
Breaking News: The Great Joint Exchange Meltdown of 2023! That’s right, folks! As we find ourselves in the dystopian wasteland that is our current reality, where sharing a joint with a stranger feels about as risky as eating a buffet meal in the middle of a pandemic, we’ve been forced to embrace our inner hermits. Yes, the world has pivoted from passing joints like they’re hot potatoes to puffing solo while pretending our earbuds are just as engaging as our friends’ hilarious commentary.
Instead of sitting around a fire like campfire losers, with nothing but laughter as a backdrop, we’ve grabbed our devices to “chill” with podcasts. Because who wouldn’t want to listen to strangers discussing the finer points of cannabis science while fighting over the last Cheeto in a party of one?
Yes, dear reader, it’s time to replace those stoner pals—you know, those people who wanted to completely bond over six rounds of ‘what’s wrong with the world today?’—with podcasts that also guarantee solitude, intellectual stimulation, and a hint of societal decay. Say goodbye to awkward, lung-busting greetings (cough, cough) and hello to stoner pods! They’re kind of like being in a group, but without any of the pesky actual interaction.
Meet Your New Favorite Stoner Pods:
1. The Adam Dunn Show
Imagine the Joe Rogan Experience but without that sneaky belief that lizard people run the world! This three-hour marathon, streamed live from Denver (where cannabis is practically a member of the family), features rambling discussions with weed CEOs and lawyers so you can finally answer the question, "What’s it like to be a pot lawyer?" Spoiler: it’s 100% better than being an actual lawyer for non-cannabis crimes!
2. Brave New Weed
Welcome to the TED Talk of Chilling! Brace yourself for over an hour of high-minded discussions featuring politicians, authors, and probably some government spies sharing their secrets about legalizing everything from cannabis to Mother Nature’s Psychedelic Hall of Fame. It’s not exactly your standard couch-lock conversation, but if you want to sound smart at your next Zoom potluck, this can help you fake it!
3. Cannabis Cultivation and Science Podcast
Ever wanted to know the intricate details of how to grow your own herb and impress your plant-loving friends? Well, this podcast is more like Gardening for Dummies but with way more giggles and way less dirt. If you ever wished Mr. Miyagi was real but also knew a thing or two about botanical highness, you’ve just hit the jackpot.
4. Dude Grows Show
With over 1162 episodes (yes, you read that right!), this show is like diving into an ever-expanding black hole of cannabis knowledge! It’s hosted by three guys who may or may not be stoned and went to the “chill” school of podcasting. Perfect for those who want the latest in weed news without anyone spoon-feeding it to them—just like that one friend who always thinks they’re the best one to roll a joint.
5. Getting Doug with High
O, glorious Doug Benson! This podcast is an immeasurable treasure trove of stoner hilarity. Guests sit down with Doug in a smoke-filled room to play games and share their ever-so-embarrassing first time getting high (hint: it involves lots of giggles and at least one embarrassing revelation about eating an entire pizza). The archives run deeper than the Robert Frost poems you pretended to read in high school!
6. Great Moments In Weed History with Abdullah and Bean
This duo explores the historical shenanigans of our buddy Mary Jane. Ever wondered about the time William Shakespeare probably hosted his own 16th-century weed party? It’s about to get classy, folks!
7. Let’s Be Blunt with Montel
Surprise! Montel Williams has a podcast about weed. Yes, that Montel! And while most weed shows devolve into giggle fits, Montel actually delves into the serious side of cannabis, all while sounding like he’s here to save the day. Modules include a side of activism and the health-what-have-yous that shouldn’t involve passing a spliff with your grandma!
8. Sufficiently Chai
For the more spiritually inclined stoners among us, this delightful podcast brings together Torah discussions and the fun of getting high. Because nothing says enlightenment like puffing up while dissecting ancient scrolls, am I right?
In Summation:
Basically, while we might be temporarily ostracized from our usual gatherings of stoner comrades, nothing says “I’m socially active” like cranking out your headphones and tuning into strangers discuss… whatever stoners discuss. So, light up, plug in, and enjoy the benefits of pretending you’re still part of the “in” crowd—all from the comfort of your couch! Who needs friends when you have clever hosts and educational banter? Welcome to the future, where your path to enlightenment is just a podcast away!
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , uproxx.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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