420 Games: A Hilarious Snafu at Santa Monica’s Most Stonerific Fun Run!
In a jaw-droppingly chaotic display of athletic prowess that’s sure to invigorate the entire world of professional couch-sitting, the 1st Annual 420 Games Fun Run took place in Santa Monica this weekend! Spoiler alert: it started a whole thirty minutes late — because what better way to conquer stereotypes than with a solid dose of classic stoner time management?
And if you think that alone is comedic genius, hold onto your bongs! The race was a whopping 4.2 miles long (because obviously, they couldn’t actually commit to a full 5K), featuring an elite lineup of runners, cyclists, and skaters who were probably just expecting free snacks at the finish line.
At the two-mile mark, our lead runner (a.k.a. the ‘Most Lost’ award winner) dramatically threw up his hands, perplexed about which way to turn. One could almost hear the crickets chirping as folks scratched their heads wondering—did he forget his map, or was he just realizing that the only direction he really knows is “toward the fridge”? Meanwhile, the eventual winner, Chris Barnicle, decided that he would rather surprise the peanut gallery waiting to cheer him on by re-entering the finish line from behind. Bravo! Who said you can’t add a plot twist to a fun run?
As Chris humorously quipped about “typical stoners,” the crowd erupted into laughter, blissfully unaware that their road map to breaking the lazy stoner stereotype was essentially a comically convoluted scavenger hunt… and nobody had a clue where the treasures were hidden!
The mastermind behind this stoner shindig, Jim McAlpine, a former ski lift executive and self-professed marathon-level marijuana consumer, has been ambitiously organizing these glorious exhibition runs to show the world that, yes, some stoners can actually exercise! Alas, the bar was set hilariously low on this glorious day of misguided intentions.
These games rolled out with all the graceful finesse of a sloth doing gymnastics. As participants wobbled in their pot-leaf socks, there was a looming presence of food trucks and marijuana delivery services ready to greet a hungry, if slightly confused, mob of wannabe athletes. Ironically, despite being a cannabis-themed event, not a puff of smoke was seen wafting through the air. Apparently, organizers were more concerned about not sending the wrong message. Because nothing screams “healthy living” quite like an awkward jog followed by an immediate return to a smoke cloud post-race!
“I train hard,” said Mariana Vieira, who, 30 seconds after the finish line, proudly announced they had just "smoked," while still wearing her racing bib. Clearly, this was the only performance-enhancing drug they had in mind.
At the end of the day, you see, the event aimed to shatter the lazy stoner stereotype, even if efforts to do so were instead framed in an epic saga of confused navigation and snack sabotage. As it turns out, who needs to run straight when you can break records in athletic confusion?
In summary, the first 420 Games was a monumental success—if your definition of success is butt-kicking laughs and participants proving that maybe stoners just need a GPS with a sense of humor. Stay tuned for next year’s event, where we can only hope they’ll make it to the finish line… or at least locate their snacks first!
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , www.latimes.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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