Breaking News: Chemdawg and Church OG Are officially Illegal in Curiosity!
In a world gone wild with laughter and couch-lock conspiracies, scientists have made a shocking discovery: certain strains of cannabis exist that may cause involuntary fits of giggles! Yes folks, brace yourselves, because the audacious company of Chemdawg has redefined what it means to be an “upstanding citizen.” Researchers (a.k.a. stoner buddies) have concluded that Chemdawg is just one wild ride on the high express, ferrying you to Laughterville before one can even pronounce “THC,” or maybe the name of that kind stranger at the Steak and Shake drive-thru.
It turns out that Chemdawg has an impressive THC content that can turn a mundane trip for fries and a milkshake into the comedic equivalent of a Shakespearean tragedy – resulting in our hero (a.k.a. Leafly reviewer uwotm8) laughing so hard he nearly lost his lunch, and possibly his dignity, while the drive-thru attendant side-eyed him like he was ordering the secret menu! “Prepare for laugh attacks,” he warns while leaning dangerously close to falling out of his car.
Disclaimer: Side Effects May Include Weird Stares from Strangers
Then we have Church OG—seriously, who picked these names? “Church” should be wholesome, but I assure you this not-so-holy strain is a heavy indica, promising to plummet you into a stupor that would make even the most devoted monks consider a nap. “Take it slowly,” the wise recommend, unless you fancy staring at your ceiling and contemplating the deep mysteries of life at 2:00 AM while your friends attempt to hold a conversation about the existential crisis of a goldfish.
Imagine gathering your buddies for a “Netflix and chill” session, snuggling into your couch, with dreams of an epic comedy lineup. Cue Black Diamond, the couch-lock champion of dragging your weekends down to the depths of laughter-infused oblivion. One Leafly reviewer, Flutterbaked, bravely articulates his surreal experiences in what can only be described as an unhinged episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos, revealing that even the most mundane objects can trigger giggle fits that would make you question your sanity—and your taste in movies. Suddenly, the cat knocking over a vase morphs into Oscar-worthy art.
Is Humanity Doomed?
Now, as we collectively ponder whether humanity is destined to dissolve into giggle-snorting blobs snuggled into sofas, all we can hope is that the next cannabis strain discovered will at least inspire the legacy of previous legendary failures like that famous “Chef Boyardee,” or perhaps help us invent a snack that doesn’t exist yet (like Pizza-Flavored Air, coming in 2045!). But for now, remember that the next time you order a double cheeseburger from the drive-thru, you might just want to skip the Chemdawg unless you fancy your pants becoming an unexpected casualty of your laughter.
Stay tuned, folks. As science progresses, we might soon find out if laughter really is the best medicine—or just a high that makes you question your life decisions as you laugh your way through yet another Netflix binge on Black Diamond!
🚨 Disclaimer Alert! 🚨
Before you start drafting conspiracy theories on your fridge with magnets—just know this is satire! For the actual, no-nonsense, non-bong-infused version of this news story, head over to , www.thrillist.com (where facts wear suits and don’t tell jokes).
We highly recommend reading both versions—one for the truth, and one for the chaotic energy you didn’t know you needed. 😆🔥
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